Change and the baggage you have to deal with when it does not come as expected

THE STUCK

THE WANT

The photo on top labeled "thestuck" is what I have always felt in my life. STUCK. Confined to my  home environment forever.  The photo beneath is what i desire to have the most.  FREEDOM from my home environment .Just recently i went through  what i consider to be a traumatic experience. I thought that a change was going to occur and everything was under control. I had everything together, deposits paid off, housing contracts signed etc. Everything was beginning to turn around for me.. Or so i thought. Then CHANGE happened, CHANGE happened in the worst way possible. Every Odd was and still is put against me and i have little to no direction on what i'm going to do. I'm not easily broken or discouraged. I have always been a planner/ organizing type, so if plan A fails no worries because plans B -Z have already been formulated. But this time.. this time it's different. I truly do not know what to do with my time or what steps to makes for my future.  Even with having such disappointment and embarrassment, i still come up with different ideas literally everyday on what i should potentially do to better myself and my future. Yes change was horrible to me this time around and yes i was discouraged, even so i am not afraid of change. Change happens to all and will continue to happen whether it's for the best or for the worst. After what happened, I lost ALL interest in school and feel if i were to go back it would be because of the standards society has set and the standards my family expects for me to meet. It would NOT be for myself at all. And then i say, hey .. i cant give up on the main focus on my life right now which is furthering my education. MY education seems to be the only thing i can call MY own. 

My Story:

" I got accepted into one of the top fashion schools in New York City. During the few months before i was to leave for school, I was under the impression my financial aid  had covered the whole cost of tuition. Unfortunately at the very last minute i was given horrible news that it  did not, it barely covered half. During this whole summer i scrambled around like yolk, eagerly applying for loans, and practically begging unreliable people to act as a co-signer.. .. you see change..change can leave you feeling hopeless, powerless and disappointed" -as told by me

 I understand that the world doesn't stop spinning and that i have the rest of my life to get a degree, but i was looking forward to this. When you set your hopes high and get let down hard, you feel some kind of way. One Disappointment is not greater than the next. Disappointment is just that. - sidentoe *

 I hope this post encourages young women to not give up. THINGS WILL BE HARD , Life and people WILL kick you when you are down. Find it in yourself to be strong and accept what is and let go of what was. Saying this is very clesha yet i try to do these things daily. At times like this instead of looking to others to be your backbone, your mind, your mouth, and your personal life coach telling you what you should do, look at yourself and declare your strength . Not because you have to but because you owe it to yourself to be a hungry lion in this jungle we know as life. oh yeah and CHANGE.. change is simply a test  designed to make or break you, hence to why they say change can be positive or negative :)